Good Morning Everyone!

I hope everyone's day is starting off well. Mine on the other hand is iffy.
Yesterday Billy was admitted to OSU Medical Center once again with Pneumonia, this time it is in both of his lungs. He is really miserable at the moment and I hate it, I feel helpless because I don't know what I can do to make him feel better :( I really need to get the doctors to find a way to help him with his chest congestion and all the sinus problems he has everyday. Billy keeps talking about wanting to get a trach back in. I'm scared for that because what he fails to understand, a trach comes with its cons itself like infections & skin breakdowns. They really need to find a solution to this problem as soon as possible or we might very much so turn to getting a trach.

Please keep Billy in your prayers! We would deeply appreciate it. Ill keep everyone updated.
God Bless!

My Letter to Poppy:

Today marks one month since you passed away. To be honest, I hate this. I Miss You & my life just isn't the same anymore. I Miss the stupid little things you did, like make faces behind Grandma's back when she's yelling about something or you just having the tv super loud. My favorite time we spend together was when we would eat Peanut Butter & Jelly toast & watch Bob Ross at 12:30 everyday. No matter what we was doing I just loved spending time together.

Everyday I hope your looking down on me & I'm making you proud. I'm getting my drawings together so I can go to art school. Thank You for never giving up on me, yeah I know I had my rough patches but you never doubted me one bit, you motivated me to push toward the things I love. Not only am I doing it for myself but I'm mainly doing it for you. I know haven't been myself & I'm sorry Everytime I cry or just get depressed, I know your not wanting me to be that way but I just don't know what to do. That day when your doctor came in an said you had Prostate cancer that spread to your bones, you was naive & I was too. I never had time to have it all set in that you was really sick. The day when you died it hit me hard & to be honest I don't know when I will be my same ole self again. My heart is broken in tiny pieces. I Miss hearing you say "hi Baby" when I walk through the door

I Love You Poppy!! RIP

This is a can't sleep post!

I'm laying here all curled up in my blankets with Chance (my Dog) & I can't sleep for the life of me.

I can't stand when I get home from Billy's I can't sleep a wink but when I'm at Billy's it a whole different story. I sleep like a freaking baby. I mean come on! Billy always says he doesn't get why I'm like that, not being able to sleep at home, I always tell him it's because I just feel safe with him. Billy gives me the same response every time, "like I'll be able to protect you if something happens". I mean he has a point but I do too. It's just being in his arms or just being around him in general makes me have no worries at all, I feel safe! It's the best feeling EVER.

These past couple months, Billy has absolutely been my Prince Charming, he has done nothing but been by my side as much as he could be with all the stuff I've been dealing with, with Poppy being diagnosed with Prostate cancer in the beginning of October & then to me losing Poppy last week. It's been a roller coaster ride for me, we'll him too. He never gave up on me though. Even though my engagement ring broke in this whole situation :(
Some way I'm going to repay him.

Since Poppy died, I've been lost, just completely confused about everything. It's definitely something i'll have to get use too, but how do you do that? I feel like me crying is just a sign of weakness & I'm letting the devil get to me. I'm constantly thinking that I have to be strong & optimistic for God. As the days go on, I realize I'm only human, I'm not perfect. The only one that's perfect is God. I'm always looking at the pictures in my phone of Poppy, & I guess me doing that will bring him back but I know it's not.

I'm not going to lie, I wonder everyday if he's looking down on me. I really want to get Teresa the "Long Island Medium" to do a reading for my family. I think getting her would put my mind at rest & give me some closer. That lady is definitely good at he job. She has a year waiting list.
Well I'm going to try to get some sleep! Talk to you all soon :) God Bless <3

HAPPY VETERANS DAY
  
           First off i want to say Thank You to the men & women who has served our country & who is currently serving. Without you guys the US would not be the way it is today.
      I want to say Thank You to my Poppy, who is in heaven, my cousin Vinnie, who is currently serving in Afganistan, & my Step Brother Corey who is also currently serving. These 3 men are the strongest men I've known... Love You Guys & miss you soo much xoxo

                            
          

Isaiah 57:1-2. The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.

I Love when i end my nights spending quality time with my Grandma. Today we laid my Poppy to rest. On Friday, my Poppy (grandpa) passed away after Losing his battle with Prostate/Bone Cancer. He was surrounded by everyone who loved him dearly. Poppy was such an incredible man. I looked up to him so much, Not once did he judge me, he supported me with any decisions I made or wanted to make. One of my favorite memories with Poppy was watching Bob Ross together while eating Peanut Butter & Jelly Toast. He would always say "Baby, I know you can do that", it just made me feel so good. I'm struggling bad with all this because it happened so fast. He was diagnosed with all this the beginning of October, it took him too fast. But I know he's in a better place now & not struggling. He definitely fought his hardest & I seen it in his eyes. I need to keep in mind that even though he isn't on earth, he's always going to be in my hearts <3

I LOVE U POPPY! RIP. I Miss U soo much. Thank You for believing in me when no one else did. Your my everything. GoodNight MUAH

Wow!! I can't believe we are already in November. Which means 52 days till Christmas. Yay!!!

First off I just want to say that Billy & I send our prayers out to everyone on the east coast, who was hit by Hurricane Sandy Monday night. Even though we aren't on the coast, Ohio definitely got a feel of Sandy too. Winds were up to 50mph or maybe even higher. Thousands are without power to this day. Billy & I are really thankful that we were the lucky ones that didn't lose power. I'm hoping every who was effected by the storm are in a safe shelter until they can receive help. Our hearts go out to each and every one of you.

It has definitely been a while since I've posted something on here, my life has been pretty crazy.
These past couple weeks I've learned a lot. Lets just say it was definitely an eye opening experience.

On October 4th, my Poppy (grandpa) was complaining of severe bad pain, Poppy is not the type of guy who really shows emotions and he doesn't have any kind of like for hospitals nor doctors. We knew something was really wrong when he wanted my dad to take him to the hospital.
Cutting to the chase, Poppy was diagnosed with Prostate & Bone cancer. We found out that he has been actually fighting it now for 3 years, but no one knew neither did he. The news really hit hard & just so fast. My family was in a complete frenzy.
My Grandfather is 83yrs old, with his age he wouldn't be able to handle chemo or radiation. The only option was for him to get ejections every 6 wks. My Grandpa is my everything. He gets me & supports me all the way, no matter what it is. I just can't imagine my life without him. Just knowing he's going through all this just breaks my heart. I just want to take it all away from him, but I know I can't. All I do know is that I'm going to be by his side through this fight. He's not going to be doing it alone.

My Family & I would deeply appreciate it if everyone could keep him in your prayers. I'm not ready to lose my Grandpa & I'm not going to let it happen.

Honestly, Poppy getting sick all fast like this, really had me thinking crazy things. I started doubting God. I was ashamed of myself for doing such a thing but I just didn't understand why it had to be Poppy.
Thursday night Billy was taken to the hospital by squad, he was not feeling good at all. Doctors found Pneumonia in his lung and they admitted him. The whole time Billy was in there, we prayed & just watched the Christian channels & it really made me open my eyes that I'm letting the devil get to me , way too much. I was in need of changing that right away & decided I'm going to live for God. I'm going to change my ways. Poppy is in God's hands & so was Billy. I just had to put more faith into him & that's what I'm going to continue doing. If it wasn't for God, I wouldn't have been able to fight cancer when I was a baby. God has a plan for us. He will never give us something that he knew we wouldn't be able to handle. Billy is home now & is doing just fine. It's amazing how powerful prayer can be.

Count your blessings...

This adorable family is my cousin Vinnie & his cute little family. 

My Cousin Vinnie is in the Air Force & they are currently live in South Carolina.

These pictures were taken today before Vinnie got deployed again!

I'm so proud of what my cousin and all they other men & women do for our country. 

  Please remember to keep each & everyone of them & their families in your prayers because they are all out there for us and our country!!

God Bless!

Good Morning everyone!!!

It's the first day of October... I love this time of the year. The leaves are falling and it's time to pull out the hoodies. I really can't wait to carve pumpkins, Geesh I have not done that since I was little. Billy & I plan on doing it next weekend. So it's exciting.

Tomorrow I get to see my God Daughter Amaiya! I'm wanting to do some crafty things with her since its her first Halloween & I want to surprise her momma. She'll love it. I'll definitely will be posting pics on here, but also follow me on Instagram. I'm on there 24/7 ;) (bmh3artsbg10)

Everyone be safe & have a bless day. I'm going to finish watching Joyce Meyer and get on with my day :) <3 

Hey Guys!!! I've been slacking on writing on here... There has been a lot going on!  

    I never knew planning a wedding would be stressful =/. At first Billy & I had a set date of October 5th of next year, but we are definitely changing that, We felt it was too stressful because there is a lot with have to do other than plan for this wedding. We don't have our own place, or car yet and we want to be settled down first soo we can both enjoy planning the wedding :) So all in all its good were waiting. But i dont wont to wait too long ;)

So how about them Buckeyes!!!

    Last Weekend i surprised Billy with OSU game tickets :) Billy nor I has been to a football game. (It's soo expensive) but i managed to get tickets. Billy's face and expression was like a little kid at Christmas. If you didn't know Billy is a HUGE Ohio State fan. You should see his apartment! I might just take pictures of his apartment so you can see for yourself :)

    Anyways we had awesome seats! Billy was getting into it. I'm not going to lie, i was getting into it too :)

But we had a blast & if were lucky maybe we can get tickets to the OSU/Michigan game ;) (fingers crossed)

                   

                                BY THE WAY! The Bucks won. But don't ask me the score. I  didn't pay attention to that...Oops

Hello September!

Today is the first day of September, which mean it Childhood Cancer Awareness month. This month means a lot to me. I myself is a Childhood Cancer survivor!

When I was three weeks old I went in for a check up, the doctors found a tumor in my stomach. Doctors told my parents it was cancerous, they ran multiple test, they was diagnosed with Immature Teratoma. When my mom was pregnant with me, the doctors never knew she was pregnant with twins, but neither did my parents. At 22 weeks my twin died, We were connected by the stomach. When my twin died and i continued to grow, it grew inside of me. The doctors did stomach surgery to get the tumor removed, when the tumor was out, they found out that half of the tumor had hair, finger nails, & even teeth. Half of the tumor was my twin, the other half was cancerous. I went through Chemotherapy for 4 years and Now its 2012,I've been cancer free for 19 years.

Everyday I try to think of some way to help kids with cancer and just give back. Even though I was really young, when I was going through that difficult time. I can actually remember little bits and pieces, so I know how those kids feel. When I get things together I would love to open my own business and just have a place for kids who are in the hospital, To go to, too just relax and have fun. That's my dream & one day it'll happen :)

Before I go I just want to mention how awesome our OHIO STATE BUCKEYES did today against Miami. They made us proud. GO BUCKS!

August 29th 2010

       Today is Mine and Billy 2 years anniversary! I can't believe two years have gone by already. I'm so blessed to have a man like Billy in my life, I always wonder how i got so lucky with him ;)

   Around 1am i struggled with a huge panic attack. I was struggling so bad i wanted to go to the hospital, But i kept saying to myself that i'm not going to ruin our anniversary...

      Ahhh I keep getting distracted because Billy's nurse has Honey Boo Boo and i sadly can't stop watching it.. ANYWAYS back to what i was saying.

So i struggled until 3 am and was finally able to go to sleep. l

Later on i went to Billy's and I felt more calm. When i have panic attacks and they get bad like this one was, i could feel horrible for about a week or maybe even 2. Some people think panic attacks aren't nothing serious, but i have severe attacks and it makes me so depressed because doctors say that this is permanent :(

Around 4pm Billy and I went to Applebee's for dinner. Billy was craving Steak, so he of course got steak and fries & I got three cheese Chicken Penne. It was yummy!!!

When we was done, we was waiting for transportation to come and Billy yelled "Babe, something fell from the tree and hit me", I laughed because his face was priceless. But i go over and look, there to find bird poop on his sleeve. It freaking looked like guacamole. ughh soo gross.
Transportation was almost an hour late! it was crazyy, so Billy and I spent that time window shopping and taking crazy pics together. We had a blast!

Earlier in the day, Billy & I met this guy, We never got his name. But he was a old gentlemen, nice as can be.  He started saying this quotes & completely amazed us. (Sorry I can't remember it) but Billy was like can u say that again, & this man started singing. here to come its a song            called "I Understand" by Smokie Norful. It was amazing, I loved it and really needed it because i was still feeling yucky because of my attack. Thank You God!! He is so amazing!!

                           




   

Woahhh (in Jesse from Full House voice) ;)

     This has definitely been a crazy week!

I witnessed a horrible car accident the other day after i took my God Daughter home. Never have i ever saw something like this in real life. It was like i was watching a movie. No Joke.
    So here's what happened i seen this old man just speeding down the street and i have notice his head was down, then BAM! he slammed into another car and I seen this old man flying out the front windshield. Not even giving one sec to think, i ran out to the victims to see if they were ok. I was not prepared to see what i saw. Lets just put it that way. I'm not going into details. The old man that was speeding was actually trying to fight people. I mean he just got thrown through the car window, that's no big deal at all. GOSH
  As for the other Victim he was not in good shape at all, he had gashes everywhere, couldn't speak, just in complete shock. It seemed forever till the squad came. I just had to keep talking to the other guy and just reassure him that everything was going to be okay, but i really didn't know. I was thinking the whole time, i'm not going to let this guy die on me.
   I wonder everyday since this accident, how both of those guy are doing. All I can do though is pray and hope they have a healthy recovery.


      On to some good news.
   I went to have dinner with one of my good friends and we decided to go to Red Robins because it was closer to my house. Well as we walk in and get seated. I noticed the guy behind us had ENORMOUS feet. I mean BIG HUGE FEET. I looked at him and look he looked familiar. Understand this is guy was so huge, he couldn't even fit in a booth. When i say huge i don't mean heavy, i mean tall wise. But all I kept doing was staring at him, I couldn't figure out who he was. so I decided to ask the waitress. ;) and she told me they thought it was Greg Oden. All i can say is Thank God for Google! Google is amazing. I immediately googled Greg Oden and sure enough, there was his face. I was like a little kid on christmas morning. I called Billy right away to brag but of course he ruined that because he was out walking Valentine. But  when i did tell him, he thought i was crazy. I told him fine look on Facebook. He felt stupid.
 All and All that was pretty awesome!
     
    Well gotta cook my Fiance (love it) dinner! <3
Everyone stay safe and Wear your seat belts.

 xoxo Beth

what's on my mind today!

    Since Billy popped the question my mind has been totally all on wedding ideas and finding a place for us to live, but its so hard when your on a fixed income of some sort. i've been looking at apartments and the one thing that i tend to run into with all of them, is that they have a waiting list for like 2 years for apartments that are wheelchair accessible. When i go into leasing building at the apartments and ask about their handicap accessible apartments, the workers look at me like i'm stupid and it made me furious. They were so rude. I mean one apartment, whatever, but when you get treated like this by all 10 apartments. its uncalled for.
   
  One thing that makes me sick to my stomach with people is that, they look and see someone in a wheelchair and will treat them like crap or talk to them like they are babies. These people that are in wheelchairs are just the same as any other human-being but God just made them a little bit more special. There is no need to treat people like that.

  Billy goes on daily walks with Valentine and He is always a people person, Don't know a stranger in the world. when he goes out, if he has any problems he usually ask someone if he can use their phone and he tells me about these people that just ignore him and walk away. I wish those people put themselves in Billy's or anybody else who is also in a wheelchair and just get a feel of what wheelchair bound people deal with on a daily bases. I know it doesn't bother Billy like it bothers me, but everytime i see this i just want to yell at them. GRRRR  I'm sorry i just had to get that out. Please let me know if you ever experienced the same problems and im not the only one.  :)

    On to more POSITIVE things! The wedding, we aren't sure when were going to get married yet but i really hope its next year. I can't wait to marry Billy. Is it bad, that almost every night i have a dream about our wedding?? I'm excited what can i say :) I've been thinking about how we would do our First Dance since  Billy is a Quad. Any tips? But i got our colors down but i want it to be a surprise ;) Another thing i've been thinking about is if i'm going to hyphenate my last name (Marchese-George) or just keep it George. Ha I know some of you are probably laughing right now. But these are serious things ;)
  But im getting off here and watching the rest of the Dallas game and going to try to wake Mr. George up from his nap. :)

     Billy & Amaiya! OUR God Daughter <3

 

Soon to be Mrs. George

WE'RE ENGAGED!!!

Yes Yes Billy proposed to me on July 11th, the night he got home the hospital. We was laying in bed he was on the computer and was on the Nook reading. Billy Babe, I need to ask you something and I was still reading because I was reading Fifty Shades of Grey and it was at the intense part and I couldn't stop. Then he said will you marry me and I thought he was just playing, I laughed and was like shut up and I started reading again, then he said Baby. I looked at him and he's crying, I got up because I didn't know what was going on, I asked him what was wrong and he asked me again if I would marry him. I was in total shocked, completely speechless. I said you aren't lying are you. Then I said Yes!!

It still feels so unreal. I have never been this happy and it feels amazing. We don't know when we'll get married but I'm hoping sometime next year. I do know I want to get married at the church I went to when I was growing up, but Billy and I first have to get our own apartment together because I can't live with him in the apartment he he lives in now, due to it being an assist living complex. We'll get it all situated for sure. We're just enjoying this day by day. :)

      To Billy and I woken to the tragic news in Aurora, Colorado. Our thought and prayers are with  those family and friends who had a loved one that was involved in this shooting. This tragedy is definitely a lost for words, so many innocent human-beings were killed and injured for no reason. 

   Billy & I will continue to pray for the family and friends who was involved.

Everyone please be safe and watch your surroundings. 

God Bless every one of you!

    First i just wanted to say sorry for keeping everyone in the dark about what all was going on with Billy the past 2 weeks
   On the 3rd which was tuesday Billy wasn't feeling good at all. He didnt get up out of bed until later on that day, so we could go see fireworks. On our way seeing the fireworks he was really confused and did understand where he was going or where he was even at, he asked the same question every second. After the fireworks we came back to the apartment cause his nurse was there waiting for us and Billy wanted to lay down so bad, as Billy was getting put into bed I went to help out his neighbor. My mind was going nuts at that moment I didn't know what was going on him and I was terrified. After helping his neighbor I came back to find him spasming bad, when I say bad I mean bad. Remember Billy is a quad he can't move anything from the shoulders down. These spasm had his legs going up in the air and his body was launching forward. I have never seen him like this the 2 years I have been with him. Immediately I call the squad but his nurse kept telling me everything is okay, but I knew it wasn't. Squad came an Billy was basically back to himself, his spasms stopped and he refused to go to the hospital, even though i thought he should. All he wanted to do was get ready for bed and that's what we did. I was so worked up, my body was like jelly i was so scared to even sleep.

    Six o'clock the next morning  i wake up to him screaming for me. He was back to his spasms again, I could see it in his eyes he was struggling, his face was so red, his eyes were blood shock. I couldn't believe it. I called 911 right away, As i'm on the phone with them, his nurse walks through the door wondering whats going on, I thought seriously you don't see anything wrong?!?!?. I asked him how long has he been like this, his answer was all night. It made me furious knowing that he was struggling all night and this guy did not have the nerves to call the squad. This guy is a RN, people put all their trust into them and would never think this could ever happen. The next question i asked was what his  temp was. He said 99.2. I then went to the door because i thought the squad arrived but they didn't, came but into the  bedroom to see Billy's face buried into a pillow.I yelled at his nurse and asked what in the world was he doing and to not even touch Billy. He said he was changing him. The squad came and his nurse was no where to be found.

  We finally get to the hospital, Billy has no clue where he was or who i was even. Doctors took his temp it was 106 & Billy started having seizures. I was terrified and so angry because i thought i was going to lose Billy and I was beating myself up because if i didn't fall asleep that night, he probably of wouldn't have been this bad. Doctors found out he was having Baclofen Withdrawal. They transferred him to ICU. The next day they had to put him on the  vent machine because he was struggling so bad. Those days were the worst for me, I could not stop crying. When i had to leave him I cried and called the hospital continuously making sure he was okay. I could not bare going to his apartment and him not being there with me. I think i honestly prayed every minute i had. I knew God was with him.

   The Next day he went into surgery to get a new pump and line. The surgery was for 3 agonizing hours.  I was so happy when he was  out because i knew it was all going to go up from there and it did. Couple hours after surgery  i went to give him a kiss, and his eyes opened. He was  fighting to stay awake and did not like having the vent in. I kissed him again and just talked to him, he mouth I Love You and i started crying i knew God answered my prayers.

With God All Things Are Possible 

Auntie Em!!!!! Auntie Em!!!!

Can you say CRAZYY!!!

branches that caused our power to go off

    Yesterday was completely horrible. As the storms roll in Columbus, all you see is things flying in the air and trees swaying back and forth really hard. I'm not going to lie, I was really scared. But hear me out! Billy's neighbors started screaming everyone inside, i'm thinking there is a tornado, No there is just a HUGE fire right in the middle of the street behind Billy's apartment. We could literally see the flames over the privacy fence. This is where i freaked out, Billy was just wanting to have a day to relax and wanted to stay in bed. I did not have a clue how i was going to get him out if his apartment caught on fire (THATS HORRIBLE). To get to the point basically Billy & I was out of power from 5pm yesterday to 12 noon today. It was so hot!!! 

Aftermath

    Billy lives in a assistant living place called Creative Living. It's a really nice, independent  place for people who are handicap. Everyone who lives here are in wheelchairs. Multiple residents here use a Bipap  or Cpap at night when they sleep, Billy is one of them. Since the power was out no one was able to use them. The thing that gets me is that, you would think since it is a handicap complex, that they would have a back-up  generator for the whole place. But NO! 


   The only thing that counts is that EVERYONE was safe and everything is back to normal now. This storm caught me,well us a lesson.  We need to figure out a safe way to get Billy out of bed in an emergency. I feel horrible we haven't even talked about it. But we will have it taken care of.

   Everyone please stay safe! God Bless every one of you!
                                                                                          Talk to you all very soon!

Make-A-Wish Foundation

   This Beautiful little girl is my now 9yr old cousin Hailey. Hailey was born with Chronic Lung Disease. For the past nine years Hailey has put up an amazing fight. She is the strongest little girl i know. She is unable to talk, due to her vocal box being  paralyzed & knows some sign language. Hailey loves messing with people and playing with her baby brother Keegan and her black lab Harley.

A couple weeks ago Hailey was admitted to Children's Hospital because she was having a hard time breathing. Everyday she was getting worse and worse, so she was place in PICU. The doctors told us, that they did all they can do.She was on the biggest Vent machine and that wasn't even helping her. Her stats went down to 64/32. The doctors told us its going to get worse before it can get better.
 Days went by and she remain the same, then the medicine they used to stabilize her was not working. She was fighting so hard to say awake. After that she started improving. We finally seen our little girl smile again & she was giving people her little attitude. About 2 days of showing improvement she was moved to a regular floor and in a regular room. I'm happy to say now she is home with  her Mommy & Daddy.
      Hailey has always been in and out of the hospital & no matter what she always comes through.


      Hailey is in the Make - A - Wish foundation and every summer we try to raise money to help Hailey and other kids that has the same condition as Hailey. On July 29th, ill be walking for my little cousin and all the other members of Make- A-Wish. This link below is Hailey's Team Page, Where everyone can donate. If you could donate it would mean the world to Hailey & Our Family. It doesnt matter how much, if you can only do a dollar that is totally fine. Just remember this is definitely going to a good cause.

Thank You Everyone



http://makeawishohio.kintera.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=1016671&lis=1&kntae1016671=DC5073C699EC475098E3AD453979425A&team=5121339

   First thing first!  Im proud to be able to say right now, that Billy & I are FINALLY home from the hospital. We couldnt be any happier. I want to thank all our family & friends who kept us in your prayers. We are so blessed to have all of you in our lives. Thank You!

   So I have made a new link up top^. its going to be all of Billy's Art work before & after his accident.  Right now i just have a few of his work that he has done since his accident, and there is definitely more to come. I just wanted to share all of these amazing drawings because one i'm so proud of him, for two, i know he wants me to show them off & for three,i mean how many of you out there can actually say you have seen someone draw with their mouth. It's amazing! But Billy is always drawing so ill always have pics up so just stay on the look out ;)

  This post is going to be about a lot of random things. I'm sorry!

   Billy and mine's recent fun activity we have been doing together is gardening. We both want to start something we never done before and our friends were begging us to do it with them, so we got drugged into it. It's surprisingly relaxing and very exciting. I'm honestly shocked were doing so well with it. I can't even keep a goldfish alive! I mean that has to tell you something. Anyways the things we decided to grow was Sweet Potatoes, String Beans, Carrots, & Tomatoes. Everything is getting so big. The one thing that amazes me is how fast they actually grow. I can't wait till everything starts coming up & we can eat. Nom Nom Nom ;)

Just a little FYI don't ever tell a little girl, that'll you'll play ISpy when you're  trying to write! Nothing will ever   get done ;) 

 As we speak, well type, I just received a phone call from my sister and she told me my Dad has to go to the hospital because he fell while mowing grass, had tripped over a angel statue that he has in the back yard. The wing of the angel stabbed him in his leg :( my poor daddy! I'm hoping he just need stitches though and its nothing serious, but doubt it is. to stay updated just follow me on Twitter :) 

Well I guess for now i'mma play with Billy's niece while he's asleep :)

talk to you guys later! 

 
       

    .

my poor baby

Billy finally sleeping without 3 days of sleep

         Sitting here looking out the hospital window. Can't wait to get out of here so Billy & I can be home with our pups. Never did I think we was going to be here for 5 days. 

Billy giving the nurses on hard time ;)

         Wednesday Billy was scheduled to get surgery to get a new Baclofen Pump. That morning Billy was struggling with breathing because his chest was very congested. The surgeons was afraid to operate on him because they felt that if they continued on with the surgery, the vent that they put in could get stuck, which would lead him having to be in ICU. Neither of us wanted to take chances with that. After that we was waiting to get discharged an Billy started to get worse & worse, so they kept us and we have been here for 5 days, we are very much wanting to go home.  With Billy being sick he has been having his mind on getting his tract back, :( he said when he had the tract, things were a lot better. I personally don't think he needs it but i mean i don't know how he felt when he had it but what i do know is that he is struggling now. I plan on supporting Billy with whatever choice he makes. We are a team and it will always be that way. I know if i had to make a decision about something to do with my health and staying healthy he would totally be by my side. I get scared, i mean i have the right to be.  I guess i tend to dwell on things, when i say things i mean the negative things. But i always tell myself that, that is just the devil working on me. But i decided not to really worry about it now until the time comes. All i care about is that he is healthy. We are get taking our the time to fix all the problems that could relate to making be him sick like this. Since his accident he has always had a fan on him of some sort, well his nurse told him that having that fan, is part of the reason why he has been so congested. With Billy being a quadriplegic his body can not regulate its own temperature, so he is constantly hot. Well maybe he just might be to dependent on the fan, so without it, he is overly heated.

        From today on, I'm putting my foot down and there will not be anymore sick Billy. I'm not having it! I want him to be healthy & I'm going to do anything in my power to keep him that way.

    

Opening Eyes

      Life is always full with some kind of excitement, being good or bad.
Have you ever thought if you were making the right decision when doing something? Most of us do. But what about when it comes to friends?

       Recently i've dealt with problems with a friend. Its gotten to the point to where when i'm with her i always have so much anger in me and to people would do know me know im definitely not that type of person. I've started opening my eyes an realizing that this relationship that her & I have is not a friendly relationship. A True Friend is a friend that is there for you, a friend gives you a push when your struggling or just not sure about something. Friends don't disrespect you infront of others & put you down. thats not a friend one bit!
With "her" the problem that is so hard to over come is that we've been friends since 8th grade. That's a long time. i'm currently 23 and she's 22 were not kids anymore. But when we get into arguments it just pushes me further and further away from her. When we go with out talking to each other i always think about the past and the good times we have together, which always sucks me in to talk to her again. I hate the fact that i do do that, because to me it really sad. that i cant just say no & leave me alone. 
       
        I sat down an talked to another good friend of mine about this problem, She opened my eyes completely. For me dealing with Panic Attacks and Depression i learned that being around "her" is effecting me in many ways and its not good for my health at all, to have so much negativity in my life. I plan to look to God for his guidance. I always say to myself, "If God didn't think we would not be able to handle things, he wouldn't have thrown it our way". Thinking of that constantly just tells me that i'm able to get away from all the negative things in my life. Without the Lord, Family & Friends i would probably be insane right now. But I plan to end my friendship with "her" and just starting a more healthier and positive life for me & people who are surround me. 


      Never let your friends treat you like your worth nothing! 
       
  -Bethany          
     

Goodbye Winter, HELLO Summer!

   

    Since maybe September Billy has been sick like crazy. I mean i cant even count on my fingers anymore how much he has been sick. This past winter was absolutely horrible, One day its freezing & snowing, the next day its hot & we're wearing shorts & flip flops. Sad to say Billy & I had countless of times we spent in the hospital.

      Now that its May & its getting warmer i'm really hoping we can say buh bye to all that & have a more healthier life. Our last visit to the hospital was actually a couple days ago. Billy had, had another spell where he woke up in the middle of the night & could not catch his breath for the life of him. He hasn't had one of these since maybe November. He was doing really good. But then I got a call at 4 in the morning from him saying they had to call the squad. its so scary & I just hate that this last time i wasn't by his side. So as i was saying we had to go to the hospital because since he had that spell. he was short of breath off & on & his chest was extremely tight. We was really hoping he wasn't getting Pneumonia again because he had all the symptoms that he had when he had Pneumonia the last time. At first Billy was being SUPER stubborn & kept putting it off for another day. When truthfully he was just getting worse, His nurse & I decided we was going to just call the squad. Well they took him in & we found out that he had a lot of air in his lungs. They gave him 3 different meds to help him. I'm happy that i'm able to say I have my baby back. He is back to his goofy self :)

     Today we found out that the 16th of this month is when Billy's surgery will be for him to get his NEW Baclofen Pump. For people who aren't familiar with the pump heres a link that tells about it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrathecal_pump



Also I just came aware of this site. Its the late Christopher Reeve's foundation & I think its amazing way to help cure paralysis. Please check it out & donate :)
http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.ddJFKRNoFiG/b.4048063/k.C5D5/Christopher_Reeve_Spinal_Cord_Injury_and_Paralysis_Foundation.htm

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birdy, a photo by bmh3artsbg10 on Flickr.

Billy drawing a Humming bird

God Must have Spent a Little More Time on You :)

     Well since iv been on here last a lot have went on.
Since September Billy has been having some health issues. In September he was admitted into Children's hospital with Pneumonia in his lungs. He was in the hospital for about a week & of course i stayed by his side the whole time.  I couldnt bare leaving him all allone in that place. Im not saying its a bad place. But i wouldnt want to be by myself neither, So after he was released from there, he still wasnt feeling good & I was soo worried because ive never seen him feeling this bad. Plus you know that if a man cries than he isnt ok at all. Anywho, we got him checked off again & the doctors did a Urine Culture on him, well the test came back saying he has E coli  in his bladder, so he was put on some meds to clear that up. After that cleared up he was doing good & was back to being Billy. Since Billy got his NEW chair last April 2011 he was having a hard time adjusting to it, because dont forget the stupid medical place left him without a wheelchair for 5 mos. (Ridiculous uhhh!) So he had to start all over. After a month or so longer Billy got use to his chair & figured out everything but he was still just not comfortable like he was in his other chair he had before. Billy was complaining that his neck & back has changed a lot through the whole 5 mos he was without a chair. All Billy did was dwell on how bad it was and he always thought about it so we went to the doctors for his back, to get an x ray done so Billy can relax. Well we got the x ray & the doctor said his spine is still curved & that it hasnt progressed too too much. We asked if surgery could fix it and hes doctor is not so sure he would want to proceed in having surgery done because he is afraid that the movement Billy doesnt have left, the surgery would ruin it. The doctor decided to write a prescription to get a back brace & see if that would do some miracles & help Billy. Im glad to say the back brace is AMAZING & its holding him up straight :) but as for the neck there isnt much he can do right now. Im just going to continue my stretches i do with him everyday.

            Last week Billy called me saying he blacked out & forgot where he was when he was walking Valentine around campus. It scared the crap out of me because he was not his self, he continued to forget where he was & he wasnt making sense sometime when he was talking, so i told him were going to OSU Medical to see whats going on. So we went around 3 that afternoon & waited til 10:30 that night and NEVER was seen all that time. I was heated & just wanted to go off on someone, But we went home and decided to try & get in to the doctor tomorrow. The next day we was able to get in to his doctor. They did a urine culture & blood culture, he was positive for a UTI. We was so happy it wasn't anything severely worst. Id admit i was so scared he had a stroke. I'm def blessed God is looking over us :)