Michigan week, Signs from heaven, SNOW!!!

 
                                            It's officially Michigan week here in CBUS.

  For those of you who aren't football shabby.
One of the BIGGEST college football rivalries is against THE Ohio State & Michigan. This Saturday will be the day my boys will BEAT down those Wolverines, once again!

Sorry i'm not sorry if you're a Wolverine.

Football is the one thing I love about this time of year. Yeah, I don't know a lot of the things that happen during a game, But I know more than I knew 3 years ago.

Billy is a maniac over football so I'm kind of bound to watch it with him. Which I have no problem with now a days. Did I just admit that? What's the world coming too? :)

Since Billy lives like 3 minutes away from the horse shoe stadium. It's pretty amazing seeing everyone representing the Buckeyes come game day. Really, it's like that all year around here. What can we say we are proud.
Every year the students have this tradition before the BIG game. There is a little pond on campus they call Mirror Lake, it's not a lake so I have no clue how they came about naming it, when it's clearly a pond.
 But, Anyways the students jump in the pond & just go crazy. Need I remind you, here in Ohio it's freezing this time of year. The student go all out though, girls wearing bikini's, guys just wearing shorts. IT'S JUST CRAZY!  It's a pretty big thing here but this year they are cracking down & whoever wants to attend the jump needs wristband. you can't even just watch. pretty ridiculous but things have to be done.

      Just looked out my window an it's a winter wonderland outside!!!!
      This girl is definitely happy.
       I love the SNOW!
CBUS is under a winter weather watch until Wednesday around 10am.
All I'm asking this year is that we have a white Christmas.

  One year when I was little, It's was Christmas Morning. My Sister & I woke up all excited for presents, you know typical kids. But, the first thing I noticed was the snow outside. I could careless about the gifts. it was funny.
  That snow fall was a surprise for everyone, no one was expecting it.

So, do you ever wonder how you'll know if your love ones from heaven is sending you signs??
Lately, I've been finding a lot of pennies heads up. I'm superstitious when it comes to different things. Picking up a penny heads up is one of them. I believe picking a penny heads up is good luck and if you pick up a penny tails up, it'll bring bad luck.

 Since my Grandfather passed away., I don't believe I've ever seen a penny tails up. Everytime is see a penny heads up I'll keep it. I feel it's a sign from my Poppy, him letting me know he's with me. 

Poppy kept all kinds of coins. He was a true believer in saving change.  I mean you see! Could this be a sign from him? I don't know I strongly feel it could be. I need Teresa Caputo :) 

Well I'm heading to bed. 

If I don't blog before Thanksgiving, Everyone have a safe & happy Thanksgiving :) xoxo

GO BUCKS!!!

Random

It's 4:15am & I'm wide awake! 

Billy & I fell asleep after attending a friend of our's going away party. I think we took give or take about a 3 hour nap. I don't remember what time we crashed. Lol you would think we were drunk or something. Definitely not! 

 So I just finished watching this movie called "The Way Way Back" it's pretty much an all-star cast, Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Maya Rudolph, etc etc. it was really good. it's basically telling us to stand our grounds in all situations, don't let no one tell you how to live your life or change you from who you really are. 

Get some backbones! 

I guess I should just go to bed. ;)

Goodnight Loves

 

http://youtu.be/W-TE_Ys4iwM

"Do not weep at my grave. I'am not there. I ride the wind and walk among the clouds. My pain is gone and replaced with wings. I am with my God and no greater joy is there. Do not weep for what I was. Rejoice at what I have become."

  On this day a year ago at 12:24pm i lost the GREATEST man i known, My Poppy (Grandfather).
It's been a year??
why does it feel like it was just yesterday?

Everyday i still grieve my Grandfather's passing, it just doesn't feel real to me yet. Is that weird? i mean, it goes from spending 24/7 with him, to not seeing him or able to talk to him at all. I remember every single bit of the day he passed.

 Hospice care just arrived at my Grandparent's house. My family was all together & we were all there with Poppy except Daisy, their dog. Poppy was never too fine about having a dog, it just wasn't his thing but my Aunts talked him into it and Daisy absolutely adored Poppy. We knew Poppy loved Daisy, he just didn't want anybody to know. :) We weren't stupid! Anyways,  Daisy was in the backyard and she knew something was going on. So, I decided to let her in. Daisy ran in & went straight to Poppy's bedside, I went over to Poppy and i told him that Daisy was laying right beside him. Poppy then looked at me and just did something weird, i freaked out kinda and got the nurse. Next thing i knew he was gone! I was in a shocked kind of stage at first, but when he passed we all sort of felt relief because we knew he wasn't in pain anymore. I go outside to get some air, come back in the house, look at Poppy and my eyes become a waterfall.

 Millions of things were going through my mind. That can't be my Grandpa! He's suppose to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, see my children... Went over to the bedside where my Grandpa was laying, knelt down, grabbed his cold hand, and just talked to him. I couldn't stop crying nor could i leave him. Then, the funeral home came and i had to leave him. I followed them as they took my Grandpa's body out of the house, into the car and just sat on the steps and watched the van with Poppy's body drive down the street until the car disappeared. More tears just began to run down my face.

  To be honest... I don't know how I can get over his death. So much pain lays inside of me.
I always wonder if he's looking down on me or if i'm making him proud.

   One thing i always tell myself is that he's in heaven & isn't suffering anymore. I need to quit being stubborn. God needed a angel & He wanted Poppy. Poppy will forever be my Guardian Angel.<3

    Poppy, I Love You & Miss You so very much! Rest in Heaven <3

Happy Halloween everybody!! It's a stormy day here in Columbus. Trick-or-treat is suppose to be tonight but, a lot of people in our surrounding areas are canceling it. After 4pm today, the news said we could get a huge storm with 70 mile-per-hour winds with thunder and lightning. It's just A peachy day!! 

  So today is going to be a very busy day. I have to go to my job for a skills test, fingerprints & etc. etc. etc. i'm really nervous I'm not going to lie. I keep telling myself that I will be fine and I know everything that they're going to test me on, so why am I freaking out? Watch me say after all is finished, that I was freaking out for nothing. I always do! 

 

   Well, I have to get things done here, Everyone please be careful and have a safe Halloween. I might write another post later tonight not sure. 

 Love love love & God bless!

       Hope everyone had a safe weekend! Billy & I really just relaxed most of the weekend and watched football. :) I'm really sad to admit this but I'm becoming a football nut. Like, I get so excited to watch our boys (Buckeyes) to play on Saturday & I'll even catch myself yelling at the tv.  What's wrong with me? What kind of drug did Billy poison me with??

  So Good News, I finally got a job at a Goodwill store like a block away from my house. Bad News, I haven't worked for about 4 years now. The reasoning for that is because I've been so into helping Billy, & just taking care of him. We've been having tons of problems with aides & nurses taking care of him, you would think since these people are nurses & health aides they would be trust worthy & professional but, we have yet to see it. Since I'm starting this job, my main concern is not being there for Billy if something goes wrong or someone doesn't show up. I should not have to worry if his aides or nurses are going to show up or not. It's just ridiculous. You are suppose to trust these people. I don't get it!!! 

   

    Billy's schedule for his aides is 10am to 6pm everyday & for nurses 10pm to 6am. So, this weekend we got a new aide because we found out the last aide was stealing from him. So this new girl started Saturday, we absolutely loved her. she was very nice and she didn't have a problem doing anything for Billy.  We were so excited because we thought we finally found a good aide. Man! We were wrong. Today I had to go to my new job and fill out paperwork around noon. I get a message on Facebook from the new girl saying that she would be a little late. We were fine with that, if it was just a little late and I told her that I had to leave at 12 to go to the job and fill papers out, she said okay no problem I will be there soon. so 12 rolls around, she is nowhere to be found and is not answering her phone. i'm really mad at this point because I am supposed to be at my job and she never showed up and I'm not leaving Billy all alone. So I called the agency to see if they know where she is, they are speechless because she never told them and they have no clue where she's at. Okay more to the point, she shows up at 2:30 and the manager of the agency called me to make sure that this girl is there and then asked me if I ever thought about being Billy's aide. Of course I have! But I don't have my first aide or CPR. Luckily, she is willing to work with me and she asked if I could come in Monday morning and fill out papers and get the process movin. 

    At this point I'm so confused, because I have one job where I'm supposed to start this week at Goodwill and then I was offered another job being Billy's aide. I'm so confused because I don't know which one I should do or if I should do both. Working for Billy would take a lot of stress off my shoulders and it pays more than Goodwill. Plus I wouldn't have to worry about these unreliable aides and do it myself & get paid the same time. I think I love it ;) NEXT thing to do is go in to the agency tomorrow morning and fill out papers for them and get the process rolling. Oh My Lord! I want to scream! :)

   

   Does anyone who has a love one, who is disabled, ever worry about if you will get tired of doing everything?? I don't feel that way but I'm so tired of people asking me this all the time. Then I start thinking about it and I'm not going to lie I get scared because I don't want to ever fill that way. Please give me your thoughts. Definitely appreciated.

God Bless

Oh my Lord! I have not been on here for a couple months now. It's really a shame how long I've really postpone blogging, just a lot of things been going on in my life since my grandfather passed last November.

     On November 2, 2013 it will mark a year since my grandfather passed from prostate and bone cancer. Ill admit I still don't know how to deal with it, it just doesn't feel real. You go from spending every day with someone and then it changes in a blink of an eye. During this hard time in my life I really have been struggling with my anxiety and panic attacker. I guess you could say I been an emotional wreck, but I know my grandfather would not want me to just sit around and cry about his passing. 

     

   Lately I've been reading a lot of the Bible and just trying to be a better Christian. It's very important for me to have a strong relationship with God, God has truly blessed me in so many ways in my life. He helped me overcome cancer and I remind myself every day if it wasn't for him I would not be here today.  I'm learning that I need to start living my life day by day and not worry so much about the future and not think about all the negative things that has happened in the past. I'm a survivor and I'm strong, and I'm strong enough to be able to fight all my depression, my anxiety and just be happy. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing support system, Billy has been my rock. I love him so much. 

 

    Okay, okay! I'm done being emotional now! Update on Billy and I, on August 29 Billy and I celebrated our three-year anniversary. In the hospital. Billy broke his tibia/fibula in three spots. We still from this day do not know how it exactly happened, but I really hope it doesn't happen again. Billy has a full leg cast, which he should be getting off this week ;) It has been so hectic since Billy has had this cast on, he has been having a lot of leg spasms and to be honest I've really been scared to move him around in bed when getting him up and dressed. I'm scared to break him more :)

 

 

But I'll keep you guys updated and I promise I won't be going on anymore vacations. 

Prayers for Boston

Chills, heart pounding, cold sweats, & tears just take over my body as the news breaks about the explosions during the Boston Marathon.

Over 27,000 people, 96 different countries were part of the Boston Marathon, 3 reported dead & close to 200 injured. An 8 year old little girl is amongst the people killed today. How do you even grasp this whole situation? A lot of questions left unanswered & it could be days before we get closure.

My heart goes out to the city of Boston, the victims & their families. Prayers go out for a fast & healthy recovery. Everyone please be safe!

Never go to bed mad at someone because you never know what could happen & then you can be late!!