Happy Halloween everybody!! It's a stormy day here in Columbus. Trick-or-treat is suppose to be tonight but, a lot of people in our surrounding areas are canceling it. After 4pm today, the news said we could get a huge storm with 70 mile-per-hour winds with thunder and lightning. It's just A peachy day!! 

  So today is going to be a very busy day. I have to go to my job for a skills test, fingerprints & etc. etc. etc. i'm really nervous I'm not going to lie. I keep telling myself that I will be fine and I know everything that they're going to test me on, so why am I freaking out? Watch me say after all is finished, that I was freaking out for nothing. I always do! 

 

   Well, I have to get things done here, Everyone please be careful and have a safe Halloween. I might write another post later tonight not sure. 

 Love love love & God bless!

       Hope everyone had a safe weekend! Billy & I really just relaxed most of the weekend and watched football. :) I'm really sad to admit this but I'm becoming a football nut. Like, I get so excited to watch our boys (Buckeyes) to play on Saturday & I'll even catch myself yelling at the tv.  What's wrong with me? What kind of drug did Billy poison me with??

  So Good News, I finally got a job at a Goodwill store like a block away from my house. Bad News, I haven't worked for about 4 years now. The reasoning for that is because I've been so into helping Billy, & just taking care of him. We've been having tons of problems with aides & nurses taking care of him, you would think since these people are nurses & health aides they would be trust worthy & professional but, we have yet to see it. Since I'm starting this job, my main concern is not being there for Billy if something goes wrong or someone doesn't show up. I should not have to worry if his aides or nurses are going to show up or not. It's just ridiculous. You are suppose to trust these people. I don't get it!!! 

   

    Billy's schedule for his aides is 10am to 6pm everyday & for nurses 10pm to 6am. So, this weekend we got a new aide because we found out the last aide was stealing from him. So this new girl started Saturday, we absolutely loved her. she was very nice and she didn't have a problem doing anything for Billy.  We were so excited because we thought we finally found a good aide. Man! We were wrong. Today I had to go to my new job and fill out paperwork around noon. I get a message on Facebook from the new girl saying that she would be a little late. We were fine with that, if it was just a little late and I told her that I had to leave at 12 to go to the job and fill papers out, she said okay no problem I will be there soon. so 12 rolls around, she is nowhere to be found and is not answering her phone. i'm really mad at this point because I am supposed to be at my job and she never showed up and I'm not leaving Billy all alone. So I called the agency to see if they know where she is, they are speechless because she never told them and they have no clue where she's at. Okay more to the point, she shows up at 2:30 and the manager of the agency called me to make sure that this girl is there and then asked me if I ever thought about being Billy's aide. Of course I have! But I don't have my first aide or CPR. Luckily, she is willing to work with me and she asked if I could come in Monday morning and fill out papers and get the process movin. 

    At this point I'm so confused, because I have one job where I'm supposed to start this week at Goodwill and then I was offered another job being Billy's aide. I'm so confused because I don't know which one I should do or if I should do both. Working for Billy would take a lot of stress off my shoulders and it pays more than Goodwill. Plus I wouldn't have to worry about these unreliable aides and do it myself & get paid the same time. I think I love it ;) NEXT thing to do is go in to the agency tomorrow morning and fill out papers for them and get the process rolling. Oh My Lord! I want to scream! :)

   

   Does anyone who has a love one, who is disabled, ever worry about if you will get tired of doing everything?? I don't feel that way but I'm so tired of people asking me this all the time. Then I start thinking about it and I'm not going to lie I get scared because I don't want to ever fill that way. Please give me your thoughts. Definitely appreciated.

God Bless

Oh my Lord! I have not been on here for a couple months now. It's really a shame how long I've really postpone blogging, just a lot of things been going on in my life since my grandfather passed last November.

     On November 2, 2013 it will mark a year since my grandfather passed from prostate and bone cancer. Ill admit I still don't know how to deal with it, it just doesn't feel real. You go from spending every day with someone and then it changes in a blink of an eye. During this hard time in my life I really have been struggling with my anxiety and panic attacker. I guess you could say I been an emotional wreck, but I know my grandfather would not want me to just sit around and cry about his passing. 

     

   Lately I've been reading a lot of the Bible and just trying to be a better Christian. It's very important for me to have a strong relationship with God, God has truly blessed me in so many ways in my life. He helped me overcome cancer and I remind myself every day if it wasn't for him I would not be here today.  I'm learning that I need to start living my life day by day and not worry so much about the future and not think about all the negative things that has happened in the past. I'm a survivor and I'm strong, and I'm strong enough to be able to fight all my depression, my anxiety and just be happy. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing support system, Billy has been my rock. I love him so much. 

 

    Okay, okay! I'm done being emotional now! Update on Billy and I, on August 29 Billy and I celebrated our three-year anniversary. In the hospital. Billy broke his tibia/fibula in three spots. We still from this day do not know how it exactly happened, but I really hope it doesn't happen again. Billy has a full leg cast, which he should be getting off this week ;) It has been so hectic since Billy has had this cast on, he has been having a lot of leg spasms and to be honest I've really been scared to move him around in bed when getting him up and dressed. I'm scared to break him more :)

 

 

But I'll keep you guys updated and I promise I won't be going on anymore vacations.