Saying Goodbye

Heaven received a beautiful angel!

I know you aren't hurting anymore.

I Love You & Miss You

Rest in Heave Aunt Cheryl 

7.28.1963-4.29.2014

In Need of a Break...

    Since April 10th as y'all know my Grandma has been in the hospital.
It's May 8th & she is still not home.

Last Monday she was moved to a rehab facility.
it's legit a minute away from my house :)
But, everyday i have been there to support her & just keep her company.
Each day is different but, she is improving each day little by little.

Each day I pray harder & harder.
She is such a fighter & I want to be by her side the whole way to help her chug her way up that hill.

Almost every night i'll stand by her bed & just rub her head for hours.
It just calms her and helps her relax.
Sometimes she just wants me to hold her hands :)
{it's the little things, that matter the most}

No one likes seeing their loved ones sick nor in pain,
It's the worst thing in the world but, NEVER let them see your emotions because it will take a toll on them.

Browsing Facebook the other night & I ran across a scripture that was just perfect for this time.

"God will carry you through the storm"- Isaiah 43:2

More bad news hit my family unexpectedly...

My Aunt Cheryl passed away unexpectedly.
Words can explain how i felt.

Cheryl is my mom's sister.
We weren't really close to her for different reasoning.
Last year, I went to Dollar Tree & found out she was working there,
every time i came in she gave me the biggest hugs & always told me how beautiful i was.

I'm not going to lie, I did go up there just to see her.
& then...
one day i went in there & i asked one of the ladies when Cheryl was working next,
the lady told me she moved to Cincinnati.
I was heart broken because i didn't know when i would see her again.
Never thought the next time i would she her is when she is laying in a casket.

My Aunt showing is this Saturday & to be honest i don't know how i'm going to handle it.
All I can do is pray and ask God for strength.

Last thing, I PROMISE.

This past Saturday, My Great Aunt (Grandma's Sister) had a massive Stroke.
We found out today they are only giving her a couple weeks.

I mean do you see why i need a break?
Can't handle anymore.

Just please keep my family in your prayers. PLEASE

Power of Prayer

Past couple weeks has been hard.
My Grandma was admitted into the hospital 2.5 weeks ago & is still there :(
she has Pneumonia & problems with CHF (congestive heart failure)

Since October, she has been living in a assist living home. (it's what she wanted)
Her health has been declining ever since Poppy died in 2012.
She has lost a lot weight & countless other things.

While she has been in the hospital, the doctors found tumors in her stomach,
we aren't sure if they are cancerous but, the doctor thinks they are just fatty tumors.

Don't worry we are still getting them tested!

This past weekend she was suppose to get discharged and transferred to a rehab facility for therapy because she is just beyond weak.

Well, that didn't happen!

This Morning I wake up to bad news. (best thing first thing in the morning, NOT)
My dad informed me they had to give her 2 pints of blood because she is losing blood
somewhere and her whole body is very swollen.
She then received 2 more pints of blood tonight!

So much is going through my mind these past couple weeks.
I'm absolutely terrified!

The other day i went to see her and she told me she talked to God and he said he was ready for her.
How am i suppose to feel about that?

Tears just flooded my eyes...

Please keep my Beautiful Grandmother in your prayers!
My Family & I would deeply appreciate it & also will Grandma.

I Love You Granny!

it's the little things in life

This morning as i'm sitting at the kitchen table i see this:

I teared up because that is such an amazing that she can connect with right now!

Forgot to mention in my last post, the other day I purchased Demi Lovato's book Staying Strong, 

I wanted my mom to read a bit of it. She fell in love!

So i just gave it to her because i knew she really needed something uplifting her spirits.

Shockingly, she is really keeping up with it, day by day :)

it makes me feel amazing that i can do stuff like this for her.

GOD, LOVE HER

Low times...

These past four days have been exhausting.
My Mom has a Herniated Disc in her lower back.
She has been on multiple medications including a pain patch named Fentyl.

The other day my Mom was not able to keep anything down, Not even her pills,
it went on for 3 days [give or take] because she is a stubborn mule & refused to go to the hospital.
 But, she finally gave in because it was just starting to be too much for her.

I'm not going to lie I've cried about everyday because i just have so much fear.
I'm terrified of losing my Mom,
 I'm still working on dealing with the lost of my Poppy, his death happened so fast
& we had no time to process anything.
So yes I'm terrified of something like that happening again.

anyways on with the story...

We found out the Fentyl pain patch, my mom used was hurting her.
She had signs of Fatal Respiratory depression!
Mom was wheezing.
I kept telling her to cough & she said "I've tried nothing is there, that the problem."

BYE BYE FENTYL!!!

Since she has been off the patch which today makes day #4
she has been going through withdraws.

• shakes
• hot
• cold
• anxiety
• nightmares
• PAIN!

the list goes on! 

How long will this continue??

it's 11:03pm right now
this is the first night my mom has not had any problems going to sleep.
[KNOCK ON WOOD]

sitting here in the kitchen till i know it's safe to go to bed.
Her problems have been happening around this time every night.
sooooo, my fingers are crossed.

Today she got pampered.
got her nails done
eyebrows waxed
and just relaxed.

I had to take a pics :)

I LOVE YOU MOMMA SOOO MUCH!!!!

THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY & IT'S ALMOST OVER.

KEEP FIGHTING!!!

 Please keep her in your prayers through this hard time.

THANK YOU!

rough days

Valentine & her sticks.

Billy had a rough day today!

There is nothing i hate more than, seeing Billy miserable.
These nurses just don't know how to do their jobs right.
I really don't know why they're in this field.
We go through this EVERY wednesday.

It's just too frequent!

FIANCE TO THE RESCUE!!!!!

Ohhh holy pants!

Okay!  SCI caregivers does your spouse have a pair of pants or shirt that they refuse to get rid of??

Billy does! & this is the pair of jeans he will not let me throw in the trash.

EVERYTIME! he throws a fit saying "You can't, I Love those jeans" 

and then ill hear, "You act like people can actually see the rip". He cracks me up.

The tear is slowly making its way down bigger, and BIGGER. 

How long will this last?

Ill say one thing about these though, He rocks these jeans like no ones business ;) ;) ;)