"You can’t go through the day thinking negative thoughts and expect to live in victory. Your life follows your thoughts.” -Victoria Osteen

Geez! It's been a minute since I did a post. I'm sorry.

Well, first off Billy is currently in the hospital with Pneumonia. To be honest, I'm starting to hate this hospital. We are just here too much. But, Billy & I both would love if you guys could keep us in your prayers. We are working on getting him better and home ASAP. We miss our doggies.

So, the other day Megan (BFF) & I was at a red light, I look over at the I-270 ramp & I had to do a double take, there was a puppy on the side of the road. My heart automatically broke & we were blessed to be able to rescue the little pup. We were in tears because she was covered in burrs & was just hurting. Lucky, she didn't have any gashes or broken bones. Okay, so story short, Megan kept her & we named her Miley. Miley couldn't be a better dog. :)

-Bethany

Good Morning Everyone!

I hope everyone's day is starting off well. Mine on the other hand is iffy.
Yesterday Billy was admitted to OSU Medical Center once again with Pneumonia, this time it is in both of his lungs. He is really miserable at the moment and I hate it, I feel helpless because I don't know what I can do to make him feel better :( I really need to get the doctors to find a way to help him with his chest congestion and all the sinus problems he has everyday. Billy keeps talking about wanting to get a trach back in. I'm scared for that because what he fails to understand, a trach comes with its cons itself like infections & skin breakdowns. They really need to find a solution to this problem as soon as possible or we might very much so turn to getting a trach.

Please keep Billy in your prayers! We would deeply appreciate it. Ill keep everyone updated.
God Bless!

My Letter to Poppy:

Today marks one month since you passed away. To be honest, I hate this. I Miss You & my life just isn't the same anymore. I Miss the stupid little things you did, like make faces behind Grandma's back when she's yelling about something or you just having the tv super loud. My favorite time we spend together was when we would eat Peanut Butter & Jelly toast & watch Bob Ross at 12:30 everyday. No matter what we was doing I just loved spending time together.

Everyday I hope your looking down on me & I'm making you proud. I'm getting my drawings together so I can go to art school. Thank You for never giving up on me, yeah I know I had my rough patches but you never doubted me one bit, you motivated me to push toward the things I love. Not only am I doing it for myself but I'm mainly doing it for you. I know haven't been myself & I'm sorry Everytime I cry or just get depressed, I know your not wanting me to be that way but I just don't know what to do. That day when your doctor came in an said you had Prostate cancer that spread to your bones, you was naive & I was too. I never had time to have it all set in that you was really sick. The day when you died it hit me hard & to be honest I don't know when I will be my same ole self again. My heart is broken in tiny pieces. I Miss hearing you say "hi Baby" when I walk through the door

I Love You Poppy!! RIP

This is a can't sleep post!

I'm laying here all curled up in my blankets with Chance (my Dog) & I can't sleep for the life of me.

I can't stand when I get home from Billy's I can't sleep a wink but when I'm at Billy's it a whole different story. I sleep like a freaking baby. I mean come on! Billy always says he doesn't get why I'm like that, not being able to sleep at home, I always tell him it's because I just feel safe with him. Billy gives me the same response every time, "like I'll be able to protect you if something happens". I mean he has a point but I do too. It's just being in his arms or just being around him in general makes me have no worries at all, I feel safe! It's the best feeling EVER.

These past couple months, Billy has absolutely been my Prince Charming, he has done nothing but been by my side as much as he could be with all the stuff I've been dealing with, with Poppy being diagnosed with Prostate cancer in the beginning of October & then to me losing Poppy last week. It's been a roller coaster ride for me, we'll him too. He never gave up on me though. Even though my engagement ring broke in this whole situation :(
Some way I'm going to repay him.

Since Poppy died, I've been lost, just completely confused about everything. It's definitely something i'll have to get use too, but how do you do that? I feel like me crying is just a sign of weakness & I'm letting the devil get to me. I'm constantly thinking that I have to be strong & optimistic for God. As the days go on, I realize I'm only human, I'm not perfect. The only one that's perfect is God. I'm always looking at the pictures in my phone of Poppy, & I guess me doing that will bring him back but I know it's not.

I'm not going to lie, I wonder everyday if he's looking down on me. I really want to get Teresa the "Long Island Medium" to do a reading for my family. I think getting her would put my mind at rest & give me some closer. That lady is definitely good at he job. She has a year waiting list.
Well I'm going to try to get some sleep! Talk to you all soon :) God Bless <3

HAPPY VETERANS DAY
  
           First off i want to say Thank You to the men & women who has served our country & who is currently serving. Without you guys the US would not be the way it is today.
      I want to say Thank You to my Poppy, who is in heaven, my cousin Vinnie, who is currently serving in Afganistan, & my Step Brother Corey who is also currently serving. These 3 men are the strongest men I've known... Love You Guys & miss you soo much xoxo

                            
          

Isaiah 57:1-2. The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.

I Love when i end my nights spending quality time with my Grandma. Today we laid my Poppy to rest. On Friday, my Poppy (grandpa) passed away after Losing his battle with Prostate/Bone Cancer. He was surrounded by everyone who loved him dearly. Poppy was such an incredible man. I looked up to him so much, Not once did he judge me, he supported me with any decisions I made or wanted to make. One of my favorite memories with Poppy was watching Bob Ross together while eating Peanut Butter & Jelly Toast. He would always say "Baby, I know you can do that", it just made me feel so good. I'm struggling bad with all this because it happened so fast. He was diagnosed with all this the beginning of October, it took him too fast. But I know he's in a better place now & not struggling. He definitely fought his hardest & I seen it in his eyes. I need to keep in mind that even though he isn't on earth, he's always going to be in my hearts <3

I LOVE U POPPY! RIP. I Miss U soo much. Thank You for believing in me when no one else did. Your my everything. GoodNight MUAH

Wow!! I can't believe we are already in November. Which means 52 days till Christmas. Yay!!!